Monday 12 March 2012

Lessons from the games open: On disappointment and (not) meeting goals

WOD 3:
18 minutes of
15 boxjumps (24", 20")
12 pushpress (115/75 lbs)
9 toes to bar.

I finished the rather gruelling 18 minutes not feeling terribly happy, and very disappointed with my score. I went in expecting that I should be able to get at least 6 rounds, and was pushing myself to hit 7. Alas, the workout contained toes to bar......my conquered nemisis from last year came back to haunt me, and I found myself failing to complete reps (within an inch of the bar!) many (many, many) times in a row. I wasted at leats a minute trying to get one rep, and ended up 9 toes to bar short of 6 rounds. Displeased. And as I spoke to others who had completed the workout, it seemed like more of us were disappointed than were satisfied. So, I'm writing this post in an effort to turn the whole debacle into something positive, and hopefully by the end I'll have reminded myself of what's really important.

Sometimes there's an obvious explanation for why you haven't met your goal. Insufficient sleep/food/water/recovery, for instance. Sometimes you're just not feeling strong that day, and sometimes the atmosphere isn't right. But what do you do when all of these things seem to be lined up properly and you still don't manage what you expected of yourself? Here's some things I've been pondering:

Was your goal reasonable for you?
More specifically, did you set your goal based on where you are now in your training, and what you should reasonably be able to accomplish, or did you set your goal based on someone else's goal or score. Comparing myself to someone else is something I struggle with a lot. While I do find it motivating during a daily WOD to pick someone near to my level to "race" (it keeps me from slacking), it's easy to find yourself becoming frustrated when you don't beat that person. This frustration can prevent you from recognizing whatever improvements you've made since last time. Maybe you knocked a minute off of your fran time, or maybe you just completed 2 extra reps without putting down the bar. Either way, as long as you're beating your previous self, you've achieved something.

Look at the bigger picture
First of all, I'm grateful that I am able to compete. There are many of our members dealing with injuries and unable to do even that, which is certainly more frustrating than me missing 9 toes to bar. Second, if you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, consider that it's much more satisfying (and productive!) to compare yourself to you. How far have you come? Look back in your journal (if you don't keep one, go get one right now, and start using it!) and remind yourself of where you were last year, last month, or even just last week. While I was disappointed with my score, everyone else's reaction was "That's awesome, you couldn't do toes to bar at all last year, and you just did 5 rounds of them!" And they were completely right. I've achieved a million and one goals over the last year, most of which I had never even thought to set for myself because they seemed so unatainable (I never even fathomed that I'd be one of those people whose thighs don't rub together when they walk. Seriously cool).

Don't define yourself in terms of what you aren't
I often catch myself referring to all of the things I can't do, or didn't do, and I often hear others speak of themselves in this way as well. Whenever this happens I try to remind myself of what I can do (as per the previous point), and think of everything else as things I just haven't mastered yet. Which brings us to the next point...

Learn from your weaknesses
One thing that can be said about the open is that it reveals your weaknesses. You can't skip going that day because you don't like burpees, and you can't "just pretend" you did the rep properly. Instead of being discouraged, make a list of stuff you suck at, and practice it. Do something measurable now, and test yourself again in a month to hold yourself accountable. I learned from this workout that I need to practice not putting down / letting go of the bar so often. That and I need to link toes to bar....they're obnoxiously slow with that extra swing in between...

Remember why you're actually here
At the end of the day, I do crossfit to feel good, to improve my health, and to look good naked (let's be honest). I love crossfit because it helps me achieve all these things while atually having fun (once the WOD is over, at least!) with really cool people. When I was feeling disappointed this weekend my manfriend reminded me that I'd appealed to you all to sign up for the games, regardless of skill or fitness level, to have fun, and to challenge yourself to achieve new things. Sulking about my score is not fun. So I'm going to stop doing that. I plan for WODs 4 and 5 to worry a little less, to allow myself to enjoy the experience, and try my best to compare myself to me only.

Sunday GAMES WOD day at our gym is an electric atmosphere full of effort, achievement, and unconditional support from all of our peers. I'm super excited for all of the milestones that I see my friends achieving (in particular, I can now pass my "first toes to bar during the games" crown to Carrie!). It would be a shame to miss out on the excitement over a few missed reps. After all, it's just a workout!

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